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hey this is Leo for Ashe lized org and in this video I'm going to talk about the concept of self-control okay so self-control what is self-control why is it important how do we get more of it in our lives and what can it really do for us and what are maybe some some strategies and techniques that we can use to really boost the amount of self-control that we have I'm glad that you're taught that you're listening to this video and that you search for this because self-control is one of the most important concepts to understand in your life it's the one of the most important contributors to your success and happiness in life and that's why I found it actualized at Oregon that's why my my motto is mastering your own psychology because I really do believe that when you master yourself the whole world opens up to you and by mastering yourself is creating more self-control it's being able to discipline yourself it's being able to direct your own life I'm pretty sure you can understand without me going into all the nuances of what kind of ramifications that can have for you if you had more self-control if you had more self-control you could have stronger relationships better love life you could have much better health you could have a ridiculous level of success with your finances you could have a really powerful contribution that you leave behind and that you kind of impact that you make on the world through the work that you do this all starts with self-control and then of course just how you feel in your life getting rid of all the depressive episodes all the negative thinking all the worry all the pessimism all the anger frustration overwhelm getting rid of all that getting all those emotional things handled and feeling excited and positive and proud and joyful and peaceful well that is all the difference between those two states and those two conditions though two types of life is self-control is how much of it you have so I would submit to you right now that your life's work is self-control to develop self-control to develop self mastery that is it and if it's not right now for you then make it so it should be this should be your life's work everything else is secondary and everything else will fall into place once you have self-control like I said your health your relationships your business your money situation if you just work on yourself that stuff will handle it stop looking for solutions in the outer world start looking for solutions in the inner world now this is the next point that I wanted to make this is an incredibly powerful distinction and you will need multiple exposures to grasp the significance of this but I hope to make a dent in it right now and this is the distinction between inner and outer world this is so powerful what does this mean this means that we really live simultaneously in two worlds on the one hand you have the outer world of circumstances that is right here right the outer world is the computer that you're looking at the chair that you're sitting in the house that you have or don't have how much money you have in your bank account the relationship that you're in or you're not in the country that you reside in the city that you're in the kind of shape that your body is in that is the outer world what's the inner world the inner world is the world of feelings emotions thoughts or to use one simple term for all of it psychology it's your psychology it's what's going on in here and this is powerful because on the one hand it seems kind of obvious but it's powerful on many deeper layers here's why it's powerful is that we are constantly we're constantly concerned with what's going out in the outer world so much so that we are mesmerised and paralyzed by outer circumstance and it destroys what's going on in here and of course what's going on here is ultimately what you care about because whatever you're chasing out there you only care about it because of what it does to you in here think about it that million dollars that you want to earn yes you want to have a million dollars but in the end you want to have a million dollars because it does something for you and here it literally sends out some chemical in here that's making you feel good which is why you're pursuing it the same thing with your relationship if you want to get married or you want to find that awesome girlfriend or boyfriend why do you want that yes you want it in the outer world but ultimately it's going to come back and hit you in the inner world it's that sense of love that you want to feel it's a sense of happiness that intimacy whatever you want that right so that is the connection there and the problem is that we tend to think that all the solutions and all the challenges in life are out there they're out there right it's the boss my boss is not as good as he should be it's my spouse my spouse is doing crazy things behaving in irrational ways it's the guy at work who is not doing the job that he's supposed to be doing it's the guy on my in on my commute to work that cut me off and he was being an right it's the fact that I have I have no money in my bank account that's a problem it's the economy the economy the politics the policies of this country are not allowing me to do the things that I want to do that's the problem well that is the biggest trap that you can get caught in in your life is to become a victim to outer world and not pay enough attention to your inner world because the people that are successful and have the kind of life that they want and these are the people that exercise self-control because I'm tying all this back to self-control I'm going to tie it together really soon here is that what they're doing is they're reversing the process here notice the process outer world me being so focused on the outer world that the outer world mesmerizes me I am reacting to the outer world I am NOT creating what I want I am a victim that's one way that process can run here's the opposite way the process runs I am a creator I have belief in myself I have self-esteem I have resourcefulness I have Drive I a vision I have goals I have self-control I have discipline I have emotional mastery and now my inner reality my inner world is so strong that I impose it on the outer world and I change the outer world to whatever I want it to be creator mindset vs. victim mindset notice the difference there you feel that power I get a sense of I get a surge I get chills running up my spine when I even say it because of the difference in power they're totally different most people are stuck in the victim mindset most people are too concerned about the outer world so let's tie this back about self-control to be able to influence the outer world you need to have your psychology mastered when you master your own psychology becomes easier to influence the world otherwise world is always influencing you now let's talk about the next point which is why control is really hard because developing self control self discipline is not easy and this is why most people do not do it and most people lives are is because they do not take the proper steps to develop a self-control and that's because there is emotional labor involved there is struggle involved we building self-control here's why just really think about it think about who you are as a biological entity you are this this body and this mind let's say you're this organism basically that's made up of trillions of cells trillions of cells do you understand the complexity that is happening there how many chemical and biological processes are happening in your body right now just so you can sit there and breathe for another five seconds just so you can think just so you can interpret what I'm saying to you just so you can see me the complexity is involved there and think about the environment that you're in in a sense you are in a hostile environment you have differences in temperature you have threats your survival you need food you need oxygen you need water you have all these different needs you have psychological needs you have physical needs if something goes wrong in the outer world all the sudden this organism disintegrates you die right this is a matter of life and death so you are this complex organism and your brain is a system for regulating you to make sure that you're balanced and that the forces of life the forces of the universe that you're in right the forces here right now so that these forces do not kill you and so that you are able to reproduce and create the next generation so literally right now your brain is looking out for things that it perceives might kill you right you're walking down the street it's looking out that you don't step out in the middle of the road and get hit by a car the reason you're worried about paying your bills because you linked that to becoming destitute and living in rags on the street and catching some disease there and then dying prematurely right the reason that you care about your relationships is because you want to reproduce and you're worried about finding a good a good partner and you're finding a good match making sure that you can have kids and making sure you have a nice family you're looking out for those things and it's hard to do that just think about what has to happen it's almost like imagine your brain as being a thermostat right a thermostat is a self-regulating system and what's happening there is you have a negative feedback loop when it gets too hot the air conditioning kicks in and it brings the temperature down when it gets too cold the heater kicks in it brings the temperature up to maintain this equilibrium well your body these these trillions of cells that you've got they all need to maintain equilibrium your psychology needs to maintain its equilibrium and so to bring this deep point home this equilibrium is difficult to maintain inherently this is not an easy challenge to solve this is actually a physical challenge think of yourself as a thermostat except your brain is not controlling one factor its controlling a million factors its controlling its control it has to account for all the forces in your life so much more complex and thermostat now think about the network of connections that your brain has all these mini thermostats thousands of them in your brain that are controlling for your survival your reproduction the air that you're taking in the success you're having whether you're approved at at work your social status how hungry you are all these factors are coming into play and all the need to be somehow reconciled balanced out and turned into a course of action that you're taking you know you're moving your hands you move your mouth you're moving your lips you're moving your body you're thinking certain thoughts that is guided by this complex essentially thermostat that you have in your brain that is trying to maintain a sense of balance and so yeah that's that's hard I'm surprised that were as good maintaining balance as we are but of course a lot of us are not as good at maintaining balance as we want to be and so that is why you're following through on your gym that is why you're following through on your diet plans that is why you're following through on starting your business that is why you're following through on your relationships is because you've got this complex thermostat and it's doing it the best that it can but that that self control it's difficult to develop the way to develop it is through work you have to develop emotional until you have to go out there and you have to start thinking start introspecting start watching yourself start building up a consciousness what happens is that when you do this literally I mean I don't have scientific proof for this but what I think is happening kind of physically inside your brain is that you have these various networks of neurons that are vying for control and you notice this for example when you have a decision to make and you don't know which way to go you're kind of a split between option A and option B and you have maybe one voice inside your head saying well you should go do that it's going to be great and you have this other voice inside you're saying inside your head saying no that's not going to work out it's gonna be horrible and you don't know how to decide that's literally like you have you have different forces that's that thermos that I'm talking about is that you have these opposing forces one is saying it's too cold the other saying it's too hot how is it going to pan out well there has to be a ward it has to be a clash going on inside that's literally what's happening your brain that you have clashing neural networks and they're vying for control some of them sometimes went out other times others went out but if you do personal development and you start to bring more awareness into this you start to learn you start to build knowledge you start to go out there and you start to experiment and notice what happens when you experiment and register that feedback really take it in you start to get extra layers of control built in your mind so you actually literally build up your prefrontal cortex right here which is able to control for example the different impulses that you have it controls whether you're going to splurge on that doughnut that you know you shouldn't be on splurging on it controls whether you're going to keep up with your with your gym routine it it controls where they're going to start that business you're gonna have enough courage to start that business it controls whether you're going to explode at your spouse in a fit of a rage when they do something that that bothers you or that you even want them to do right so that is ultimately personal development is it actually takes place on a physical level where you have these neural connections being built and if you do this and you build this up then you're always actively engaged right you're always actively engaged in looking for opportunities to improve yourself to grow what happens is that you start to peel these additional layers and those build extra self-control into you and you start to notice that you get more and more ability to control your feelings more ability to control your emotions more ability to control your behaviors more ability to persist in spite of the fear to have courage more ability to to learn more ability to introspect to be very honest with yourself and this is a great thing and it just kind of snowballs and you sure to build more and more self-control on the other hand if you're being undisciplined if you're not observing the practices and you're not doing the things that you need to be doing in life then what happens is you kind of have the reverse process is that your brain turns to mush your prefrontal cortex becomes weak and you are not able to execute on the things that you your Higher Self wants to execute on and so what happens is that your lower self takes control over your higher self and that is a very bad place to be in in life because even though that lower self got what it wants it got comfort it feels good that higher self is still there it's not dead and it wants you to be living to your full potential and when you're not letting to your full potential you feel guilty you feel horrible you feel like your soul has been drained and that's one of the worst feelings to have in life I definitely don't want that for you so what are some things you can do to build self-control because this was a deep kind of philosophical almost metaphysical conversation we just had let me give you some practical stuff one disciplined practice have disciplined practices that means if you're getting up in the morning get up at a certain time when you want to be getting up that means if you have the intention to brush your teeth and floss your teeth all the time you know twice a day or whatever do that that means you have intentions to meditate do that if you have intentions to journal do that if you have intentions to show up on work on time all the time do that if you have intentions of of eating healthy do that if you have intentions of going to the gym do that and be very disciplined and consistent about it that practice with whatever area of your life you point it in if you're just discipline and you're executing consistently that trains your brain it requires the build-up of prefrontal cortex just to do it it's like going to the gym and pumping your your your biceps it builds them up that's what happens with your brain so have disciplined practices and stay on top of those that's the bottom line quickest way to build self-control is to follow through on your discipline practices set a few new ones every once in a while and build those up into habits next unhook from media and stimulation you are over stimulated right now most of you are over stimulated with television radio gossip from your friends advertising negative influences from family from friends all over the place you're over stimulated by that stuff you need to unhook yourself from it get back to your source spend some time by yourself in solitude think about things be introspective raise your level of consciousness when you do this you start to develop a level of self control that's just amazing you cannot have self control when you're plugged in when you're plugged into the grid because what happens is that you're like that you become your mind becomes a lazy slug and it plugs into the grid and what you're looking for is you're looking at for that cheap source of energy that you can just plug into you just want to plug into that TV and let go you just want to plug in to that that chocolate ice cream and just let go right you want to plug into that relationship that comfortable relationship and just let go and you want to you want to plug into to sitting there on the internet all day and browsing forums and flaming other people and leaving comments or browsing Facebook and chatting up with your friends gossiping about the latest celebrity news you're just plugging in you're letting your brain turn to mush how can you have self-control and you do that you can you got snip that stuff off cut it all off spend some time thinking being alone introspecting coming up with goals coming up with visions coming up with ideas for what you want to accomplish in your life that is how to start to get your self-control back all right so I'm going to end it there that's going to do it for self-control please like this share it if you would and then of course I'm going to direct you to actualize org to sign up for my free newsletter you get two amazing bonuses for free when you do exclusive nineteen part video series about busting through limiting beliefs and it's over ninety minutes worth a video that you can't find anywhere else and then you also have a chance every month I give away two hours of free live coaching on whatever issues you've got and so I give that away to my subscribers so if you get fortunate you can potentially grab that who else but ultimately I want you to follow along I want you to subscribe and I'll show you to follow along with actualised org not because I need you to be on my list but because this is something that I believe will transform your life the ideas that I've studied over the last five years have opened my mind so much to what is possible in life what I can personally achieve and what everybody can personally achieve because I'm really know no one's special what I can achieve you can achieve the only difference is my understanding of some of these psychological principles is that I am developing my self mastery and I want to help you develop your self mastery too because when I see what is possible for me I get so excited about what's possible for you and I want to go out there I want to share these techniques with you and over the next few years as I'm researching more and more and more of the stuff I've literally committed my life to researching all the nuances of the psychology of success and Happiness as I research all this stuff and I bring it to you your life can transform if you just listen to it if you follow up with it and you take some action on it so right now I want you to take some action don't just let this video fly by you and then go off watch the next video I want you to take some action I want you to say I'm committed to this I want to master myself this is important this is going to change my life this is going to change the life of my family it's going to change the life of my kids this is it my life's work is self-control and everything else will fall into place once I get that handled